Incandescence

Hi VampX13, I am glad this helped you, but I am confused as to what you thought it would do for us. As this is, it reads like an entry ...

Fand-- It is always a pleasure to see serious thought put into poetry. This poem does not reflect such thought until the half-point. Drop the parenthetical remarks, the one- and ...

a_wolf123-- Your handling of line lengths is a disaster. Long lines generally don't make a piece "more poetic"; if anything, they fragment it. Each line should provide value on its ...

worgs-- Yes. First, that you do not feel like this is something we have all suffered is an issue I already adressed in my first comment (the piece is too ...

PS. Another suggestion, which you can ignore, is to try and write your next couple of poems without using 'I' or 'me'. The use of the first person does seem ...

SlickJimmy-- This is junk. The fact that it attempts to be self-reflective but suffers enjambment issues is enough to identify this as beginner's work. The "alas, poor me--why do I ...

Hi Dream Deep, My impression is that this is dreamscape new-age junk. Imagery is lacking; this reads as a bad transliteration. The requests in S1 suddenly gives way to another ...

Welcome Sarah, I'm probably infamous around the poetry forums as being mean, inconsiderate, and so on. But I'm not that bad! Honest, I only want to see you get better. ...

Princess Prettie, What is this, anyway? The first half is a narrative about some girl, and the only thing it seems to do is to set up the word "bitches" ...

Hi guys, I think it's worth mentioning that the graphs presented so far on global warming have been mathematical unsound. They have an infinite bound, which is physically unreasonable. This ...

Sponson, You've missed the essence of the arguments against atheist's rejection of the "under God" clause. As an atheist myself, I'm indifferent to God. I don't have a problem with ...

Hi Jack, My above remarks were written in a time-crunch, and this deserves more than that. If I may, I'd like to shorten the piece in a way that I ...

Hi Jack, It's good to see you've made much progress. Ignore SlickJimmy--your meter is fine. That said, I am no fan of lists in poetry, especially not lists that are ...

Hi Jack, A nice breakdown here. Largely, I would say I fall into the Spoilsport category, with a few hit-and-miss Critiquer qualities, but that's for others to decide. It is ...

Tassen Spellbinder, I looked for the potential that others have recognized in this, but was unable to find it. This is run-of-the-mill junk. While there is an idea here that ...