Hypocrit

Lovely little lurking thing we got here. Lyrical, pretty, concise... but too easy. This is easy to write. Maybe you know this, maybe you don't. "Darling, drink; seethe and breathe ...

The consistency of your poem lies 100% on form. It's a landscape thing. That's pretty, Let's give your landscape character. Going to let you in on a secret of the ...

Amazingly funny. The way you've captured the feel of a gritty graphic novel and made it a complete joke is lovely. You also have a keen eye for when to ...

Hello there! Again... We have essentially identical problems here. You type a story because you are bored. Yes Yes. I can rhyme chair and hair as well. Let's take a ...

Mmmmmm. So first off, you're going to want ot ditch the rhyme scheme because it's tying your image to an anchor, sinks, stinks, sucks. Also, you have so few nouns ...

Nouns are indeed a common theme today. And I agree. Start with a noun, any noun, and relate it's form to your sadness, and then strip the rhyme scheme. Try ...

Not true, there's a tangible surface. I'm going to explain that quote, indepth. Poetry that thrives off of the avoidance of forms usually lacks a solid enough foundation to capture ...

Hmmmm... there's no image, little metaphor, save for one sentence metaphors. So, instead of thinking in similies, this is like this, rain is like God crying, pain is like an ...

Howdy, so various people have told you to do various things, and it should be apparent to you now that something's wrong with your poem! And that's good, because that ...

You capture a melancholy rant through time jsut perfectly. Each and every time you switch scenes you end on a character defining moment. This portrait is really amazingly well done. ...

Jah, so, what galerius said. No, if you want to be pretentious, and do lines like "to where?" I'll tell you how. Here's how... tie them back to previous metaphors, ...

Lovely! Best poem i've read in the past half hour! K. So, we've got your cahracter, grief, pain, etc... manic with the dilirium this mysterious figure left her. I think ...

Well... I warned you... here goes... Ok, first off, the entire theme is limiting and hardly explored. Spider-man, and love, and yes. What about universal archetypes of the hero, or ...

Take out the punctuation and spacing. Read it. It's a boring narrative. That's it. That's all there is. There's a little lesson at the end. I don't know what to ...

This is terrible. You have an idea. Now, instead of showing us that idea in the most blatant form possible, try hinting at it using other things... you know... metaphors? ...