Heidigirl666

Maybe you're just seeing examples of first lines that you don't like. It's all down to opinion. I'd have to say I didn't agree with much of that; it's probably ...

Personally I would avoid it; switching perspective is one thing, but changing from third to first person will most likely ruin the flow, and seems unnecessary to me. Stick to ...

I always get that. :roll: Luckily I began my most recent novel with a title so didn't get to the end without one. I did have this problem with my ...

I'm afraid I'll have to say I didn't enjoy reading this much, but I think it could be a good piece with some work. I just found the beginning a ...

I thought this was a good start, although I did think the MC was a bit too cool. She came across to me as about sixteen, but in that case, ...

A book about the holocaust...no, it's not, but it is about a Jewish guy and his grandfather is a holocaust survivor. That's sort of very close. :D Big Island, Little ...

Wow. I really like this; it was a very strong piece of writing. I wouldn't agree with everything KJ said, but yes, there are some parts where the tenses are ...

I have read most of LOTR, all of Chronicles of Narnia, and five of the HP books. I still think it's blatant plagiarism in a lot of instances. In an ...

Ah! Now I don't know which one to comment on. :roll: Hmmm, 'Neither Snow nor Rain' sounds kind of cool. Sounds like some sort of emotional drama to me, but ...

Write out what happens right at the beginning. Write out what happens right at the end. Then fill in the gaps with the bare essential events which move one thing ...

Don't worry about it for many years to come is my advice. :roll: I always thought it was bad enough having other people pressuring you about what you're going to ...

was supposed to be funny? :? Only just noticed it was in Fanfiction and says comedy... :? Is there supposed to be cheesy narration? :? Still don't like it anyway...

I quite like this as a piece of dialogue. However... The 'Meanwhile...' bits are kind of cheesy, like a film with a really bad narrator, like George of the Jungle. ...

The longer and longer people go on being obsessed about Harry Potter, the more I start getting annoyed, and the more I feel like a really good argument over it. ...

Welcome!!! :) I'm relatively new here myself, but I can testify that it is addictive!!! Take a look at the user groups, they're really great and there are tonnes to ...