-
Re: Ben Ben Ben . . .
Your favorite snarky backstabbing jerkface: Benjamin Linus (if you watch Lost, that is.) Rip it apart.
Nov 11, 2010 -
Re: Guilty.
Author's note: This poem was inspired by several scenes from ABC's series LOST; namely, the relationship between Ben and Locke. I saw the lie Squirm in your eyes Their blue ...
Sep 13, 2010 -
Re: Warrior - 1
This was good. Like the other reviewer, I liked the informality. You could probably do away with some of the bigger words and make it even more informal. Your grammar ...
Aug 2, 2010 -
Re: Highschool Love - not actual title yet!
Hi! I'm Hawkie and I'll be reviewing you today. You know what? I don't like your first sentence. First sentences should be interesting. They should tell us something about what's ...
Jul 25, 2010 -
Re: Story One- The Savior with a black wing
Hi, I'm Hawkie. Enjoy this nitpicky review! Red letters are grammatical corrections, and blue letters are my comments. The sun was just beginning to set as I was walking home. ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: That FALL Day Chapter 1
Hi! I'm Hawkie and I'll be your reviewer today. This needs some work. I think it has potential (everything does), but yeah, you need to fix it up quite a ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: Diary of a Broken Girl [Chapter Seven]
Hi. I'm Hawkie and I'll be your reviewer today. In my opinion, your writing needs some fattening up. The "diary format" can be dangerous because it runs the risk of ...
May 24, 2010 -
Re: Speedwrite the word above you #2
Burst
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Speedwrite the word above you #2
Algebra
May 14, 2010 -
Re: Confessions of a pissed off teen on suicide watch
Hi! I'm Hawkie, and I'll be your reviewer today. You have an interesting premise here. There are a lot of teen rehab stories, but if you make the plot your ...
May 11, 2010 -
Re: Where I'm From
Where I'm From I’m from rain and green nail polish Headphones and semicolons, Paperbacks and T-shirts, Crinkled notebooks I’m from crosses, bells and choirs, Two parents and two brothers, Piano ...
May 4, 2010 -
Re: Speedwrite the word above you #2
Snuggle
Apr 1, 2010 -
Re: Post Your Pic Here [6]
Silented, you're not defiling them. xD You are quite the handsome one. I like your eyes.
Mar 18, 2010 -
Re: Hamlet for children
Stab, Hamlet, stab. See Uncle Claudius's blood gush. Gush, blood, gush. See Uncle Claudius fall. How funny he looks, stabbed. Ha. Ha. Ha. That is so stupid and yet so ...
Mar 18, 2010 -
Re: TimeKeeper
Hi again. =) This is good. Very moving. Just a few nitpicky things - He must have looked like a mad man "Madman" is actually one word . . . ...
Mar 18, 2010
