GryphonFledgling

This was intriguing and I'd like to see where it goes, but as is, there is really no point to it and it sort of doesn't make any sense. I ...

An interesting piece. I liked it, but I really failed to see the point of it. Was it a bit of observation? If so, I'd put it in non-fiction. As ...

I'm a little confused... Is this the second part of your story? Then what is the other "Professor" bit you have on here? Numbers in your title might be a ...

*vicious alligator promptly closes jaws* Wow. Absolutely amazing. I really have no critiques for you. I am horrible with titles, so I can't really help you out there, though I ...

The last line seriously had me chuckling out loud. Very clever. I liked this story a lot, actually. It was sweet and funny, and definitely felt like a children's book ...

Ooh, very nice. I'm not sure why, but I instantly liked Bluekai simply for his name. Bluekai. I don't know... It's just a cool name. That said, the rest of ...

Ooh, very nice. Really, your writing is really solid here. I was going to call you out on the whole infodump on the school, but it actually works somehow with ...

Hey hi! New members! *squee* Okie dokie, first, your title. Please change it to something else. As is, it really does nothing for you. It isn't really even a title, ...

Hey hi! I'll be your reviewer today! Okay, first off: yay for falcons! Seriously, I'm a fan of birds of prey. Just had to give a shout out. Well, Haruno ...

Sort of a merging of the two tips behind me, but what if you wrote out a quick outline of what is suppose to happen in the new draft up ...

Banned for having a creepy white van as your avie.

Wow. I loved this. The protagonist, the narrator's voice and position, everything just... *sigh* Absolutely marvelous. Um, one thing: I'm not much of an expert on sheep, but from what ...

Wow. Really amazing. This was such a strong voice. It drew me in. I'm a fan of this style of story and you are really pulling it off marvelously. *blinks* ...

I'm feeling a re-telling of a fairy tale, am I? Something like "Snow White", amirite? Nah, I could totally be wrong, but this is really what I'm feeling. Is this ...

Omigosh, but this is friggin' amazing. Seriously gory and really disturbing, but yet it draws me in marvelously. Really the only thing I could find new to comment on: harsh ...