GreatEscape

Thanks for all the opinions and critiques! I do plan to add chapters to this story because I think it's one of my most original ideas. I'll edit some of ...

This is an idea I've been playing with for a while: Rosabelle looked down through the branches and leaves of the tree. A broad smile on her face as John ...

Thank you all for your reviews! Stoney: I think I do like it better with five lines in each stanza. I wrote the poem because I feel completely overwhelmed by ...

I'm not that clingy After reading the whole piece I don't clingy is the right word for this part. Maybe something closer to desperate would work better. I like the ...

So filled I can hardly breathe. Trying so hard but I'm never relieved. I'm trapped in this state. There's no one to talk to; they can't relate. I'm left to ...

Hello! I'm DaNay! Okay first let me say that overall I think it was a good poem, very good for it to have been written in the seventh grade. The ...

Hello! My name is DaNay and I'll review your poem today! (Okay that was cheesy but whatever...) :wink: And it makes me sad and blue This line sounds really elementary. ...

1962 in a small colony in America My only criticism is that I think the time period is wrong. I think you might want to go a little further back. ...

This is the rest of the first chapter... Xavier flushed but before he could respond in any other way Celeste turned toward Phillip. “It was lovely meeting you and your ...

The regular vampires looked to the royal vampires as a human would their president. Only two royal vampires were allowed to be Awake at one time. It was usually a ...

his arms draped over it danging like spaghetti noodles. I thought this part was hilarious for some reason! So good job on that. :D Anyway I think the characters are ...

Looking at the pricey, pricey cars surrounding us. Porsches and BMWs fill the parking lot. And the only Honda is mine. And compared to the sleek, clean lines and the ...

He's not because even though he thinks she beyond beautiful he still hates vampires.

It is a love story but that's not the plot at all. I was going in the unrequited love direction. I know what you mean about the Underworld thing though. ...

I think that you shouldn't change the capital H in him when it pertains to God. I feel a little confused by this. Is it a story? I don't know ...