GreatEscape

Chapter One: Numb I counted down from five under my breath and right on cue my cell phone began ringing on the pillow next to me. I sighed as I ...

I stood there, still as I possibly could, light shining through the trees. This sentence doesn't work. It's good up until the second comma. The last part doesn't fit with ...

Okay I changed the first paragraph and the beginning of the second quite a bit. Please reread and let me know what you think!

Okay I did some editing. Some things I left the same though. Thanks for all you're reviews they were really helpful. Nixon: I know it's a bit unrealistic but I ...

After the party, I quickly changed out of my ball gown and into a simple pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt. I had been eager for it to ...

But my heart can't understand, even though my mind does This line really stood out to be. I think it's very relatable and it explains how a lot of people ...

That does help! I thought that it might be that way at first but I wasn't sure.

I'm not really sure of how good of a review this will be simply because I have no idea what to make of this piece. I think the it started ...

He strode down the street, one hand in his pocket the other holding his cigarette. Out of boredom he walked down the street, nowhere in particular in mind. Half way ...

Okay first let me say that I found this piece interesting. I have to say that I was a little annoyed that she burned to death for was a horse ...

I LOVE this piece. Great work here! Only people from the south will take a neighbor's dead pet and eat it! It so sad and, however morbid, so funny. I ...

Thanks you guys for reviewing! Reviews are still welcome by the way. I edited and fixed all the embarrassing mistakes I made. And yes I will PM you you I ...

I paused at the sliding glass doors. I just wanted to stare at his glorious body stretched out on the grass in my backyard. He was bathed in the light ...

Yea I could definitely see how your friend thought this would about Twilight, but I don't think it's all that bad. Anyway I'll just say that you shouldn't start every ...

First, this is solely my opinion so do what you will with it: Crack! Crack! Crack! Thunder sounds as lighting strikes The crack crack crack part just made this line ...