GrayLady

I like this piece a lot, but you had a few punctuation errors, mostly in the first paragraph. I feel like that part at the beginning could have been better ...

Hahaha(: you sounded like such an interesting little kid! This is so sweet and sentimental. I really like it; you're a great writer. You did, however, spell "little" wrong in ...

This is so beautiful...it's so deep and amazing. Of course there were no problems with it. I could never write anything like that in my life. I don't see any ...

Wow. This is intense. Like, good intense, but still...intense! There were spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, but since you've probably already noticed those and everyone else has probably alre

Aw, this is so cute! I like it! I think, though, that you should've worked on making them sound more like the eight-year-olds they are. I assumed at the beginning ...

Oh my gosh, this was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I love it so much. The fact that you wrote this in 45 minutes blows my mind. The only thing I'd really say ...

This is amazing! I really love the characters and your plot so far, and this is only the first chapter! The only thing I'd really say to work on is ...