GordonRamsayLuver

Great job I must say on the rhyming pattern. Rhyming is kind of difficult but you did it and it makes sense which means you didn't force it. There isn't ...

let me start off with these lines here... When you unlocked those familiar gates( period here) I flew naked above a world of steel (period here) I pleaded in dread ...

Hello I am GordonRamsayLuver but its GRL for short. Ok about your poem your rhyme thing going on was good untill the end. The end wasn't very impressive because it ...

Hello I am GordonRamsayLuver or GRL doesn't matter. So this is like on paragraph not really a poem. You should have seperate stanzas because it is much neater and looks ...

Hi I am GordonRamsayLuver you might have heard of me. So about your poem... I like the rhyme scheme. It is constant which is good. I also liked it had ...

What draws me back, I do not know. But bring me down in such an anger, Like a piercing arrow. I will not try to avenge them, But i can ...

I really liked this. I didn't see any problems in it. But You don't need the italics because what is the point? The poem had great imagery in it, and ...

Hi I am GordonRamsayLuver. How are you doing? Ok now to the critiquing. The structure is not needed because it doesn't make any sense. You Wrote " And their tunnels ...

I live in a place dim and tight A comma can be here. where the boogyman comes out at night period here. I do everything I can to stay awake ...

I agree with timjim77 on this was it does surpasses the beginning. Please try not to do that because sometimes people find that confusing and don't know where the poem ...

Hello Welcome to YWS by the way. Not bad as the first poem but it was kind of cliche by that I mean so vague and original. No imagery which ...

I found this really good because you made each other line rhyme. Which is a good thing in poems like this. Your right this was sad. But I am used ...

Hello I am GordonRamsayLuver you can GRL for short. Not to be mean but this seems like more of a story than a poem. But i am notsaying it was ...

Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: Held -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I could never know what I never learned; I could never ache where I

Wow this was amazing. I am serious. It was a great poem. It had great emotion. Just becareful with the commas ok. Some you don't even need. But overall it ...