GeneralKaseyDaBomd

Very clever in the way you told the story. Although I would've either taken out certain pieces of dialogue and put in more description of the characters, setting, and about ...

It's a good story, but sometimes it is best you don't skip such a big time frame. Try to make something happen in Sevenpaw's kithood that will alter the story ...

Even though this is a short story, it doesn't have enough plot or background info to create a true story. The characters should be described more. Things such as their ...

That's alright. Even just a comment saying it was good helps me continue writing. I'm currently having writers block so hopefully I can get out of it

Chapter One Night Glory 12 years later; just outside of the Decepticat military outpost, Hiakara. A thick, onyx smog caked the air, illuminated by the faint glow of the midnight ...

Your sense of rhythm is remarkable and the poem really struck me. It is a long poem, but enjoyable to read. For the people who have felt the pain of ...

An action-packed story of a young boy and his friend, with villians such as kidnappers and thiefs. This is a common story line for many adventure books, but the way ...

Erin Hunter could have writen this herself! The description of Ashfur's feeling about Squirrelflight not loving him and trading him for Brambleclaw struck me as touching. Hollyleaf's anger was taken ...

Very creative way to tell a great story, expecially in such few sentences. Although there wasn't much rhythm to the poem it expresses the hard life of a thief in ...

Hey I'm Sammi! I go by Sammi, Sam, Kasey, or GeneralKaseyDaBomd. I love writing and drawing. I have a YouTube account by the same name where you can see all ...

Prologue Lowering her head to hide within the shadows of a prison cell, Lightning Prime froze in place as a Decepticon patrol walked past. They didn’t notice her presence. They ...