GeneralKaseyDaBomd

Chapter Five Dark Dreams World of darkness; dream Skyhawk flinched and turned about on his bed; as he dreamt an overwhelming feeling of drowning flooding his thoughts and body. His ...

Very creative writing! In my opinion though there should be a little more description of what's happening outside the dialogue. It would enhance the story even more. Riley's the kind ...

(this chapter is confusing and the time switches strangely.) Chapter Four The Beast Inside 11 years ago; A year after Lightning Prime’s death There was barely a trickle of light ...

I can't say anything about this poem that hasn't already been said! Amazing and beautiful! It was very peaceful and flowing. Very in depth writing, and as a plus there ...

THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART: -The zombie walked up, his clothes ripped and detaching from his body. Drake looked up, staring into the creature's eyes. Finally, he got a good ...

Welcome to YWS! It's one good time here for writers, poem, fan fiction, and novel writers alike. You most likely already know you post your works and then get reviews ...

Very descriptive! This piece could be part of a Warriors book and we'd all think it's Erin Hunter writing this. Amazing. I personally like fan fictions simply because they can ...

Once I finish this book(there are five books in this series) the death of Lightning Prime will make more sense in the story.

Chapter Three Darkwind Kaon; that night Thunderstorm was woken by the rumbling of thunder from outside. The other cadets scarcely raised their ears when the sky split open. She was ...

Very descriptive writing! A great Warriors fan fiction, but the Clans seem to resemble the four Warriors Clan in name to closely. LightningClan=ThunderClan and NightClan=ShadowClan. This isn't a big i

Great fan fiction overall. A little more description would enhance the writing and create a better picture for the reader, but that is the only flaw that I see.

I have to point out the fact that there are no paragraphs and a lot of the time there is no punctuation. Some words that should be capitalized aren't. Good ...

First off, there were a lot of grammer and punctuation errors within the short story. You used unnessecery words and phrases when they would only confuse the reader. I don't ...

Chapter Two Kaon En-route to Hiakara; after raid on Sukal Since Thunderstorm had failed to consider the amount of energy it took to activate and use her electrical powers, she ...

It's nice to see a fan fiction from the view of Tribe cats, but a few errors in punctuation and grammar lower the quality of the piece.