Gahks

quiet

And will you stop screeching back?

Your reading of this book shall serve as a dire warning to all those dire people who dare to follow in your dire footsteps.

The thick brain that tells your mouth to. Why do I even bother to talk to you?

Because they're special and you're not. How come I can't be part of a circus act?

Your socks. Why do the British drive on the wrong side of the road?

And can you get some plastic knives, plastic forks and plastic cups for the Coke as well?

Ask your invisible pet. Yup, everyone has one. Why am I posting this right now, at this very second?

PM him begging him to do otherwise. Or not much else. What would you do if your favourite TV show got cancelled?

To write with. Why am I here?

How can we eat the bloody pizza when the pizza man is eating it right now?

DI James Mason sighed at the prospect of being stuck with his nephew for the next God-knows-how-many hours. Even simply staring at a suspect through the two-way mirror, eyes glinting ...

Why can't I?

Eat them all. Mmm, delicious! What would you do if the world ran out of oil?

Yeah, go on! Give us an example!