Gahks

"When you look long into the abyss, the abyss looks long into you." Freud (I think)

quiet

Hey there, Already with just a little tweaking this is much better. You're still telling in places, but it's at an acceptable limit. You could do with expanding "I was ...

Hey Jossi from England! Welcome to YWS! I'm Gahks (that's pronounced 'garks'); glad you could join in the antics! Really like the username by the way - says so much ...

I'm no Christian, but as Rei points out, racial difference does not = racial hatred. If you go by the Christian story, the separation of man from God would mean ...

Hey there, fellow Englishman! Welcome to YWS! I'm Gahks (pronounced 'garks'); good to have you with us! *offers hand for handshake* You can add me to the list of annoyingly ...

Hey Matty from drizzly England! Welcome to YWS! I'm Gahks (that's pronounced 'garks'); glad to meet you here! So I see you write action and romance? I'm more into crime ...

Hey Wordsmith! Welcome from drizzly England! Just thought I'd get that out of the way. Right: I'm all for both. Giving tips betters the writing community in general and gets ...

Apparently Sir Alan criticised the US version for being too much like a reality show and not business-y enough. Does anyone agree? Very happy with the result despite Raef and ...

Yes: much better! I particularly liked your wry comment: " 'Coming to terms' is sickeningly untrue." You really have taken on board what everyone has said: you show now much ...

This is much better than the remnants of the original version that remain in Snoink's review. You employed some good images: "The empty space beside me" and: "The single coat ...

Hey fellow Brit! Welcome to YWS! I'm Gahks (that's pronounced 'garks'); nice to see you, to see you... nice! (It's Bruce Forsyth, if anyone's clueless.) I love the username! You ...

And will you stop screeching back?

Agreed, Brad. You have some good ideas Eimear but the problem is you don't set them into a dramatic framework. Dramatic poetry = events + emotion as in the 'Sticky'. ...

Soliloquy of an Unknown Soldier How I longed for the day I would see the sun we always sang about in this soulless hell. Death wandered these lonely ways, stalked ...