Gahks

Hey there! I'll try and make this as brief and to the point as possible. The poem's message is well communicated, but i think you can go furthrt with it, ...

Absolutely agreed, KnightlyAngel and June. This poem has some good ideas but the execution was found wanting. You need to show us what the speaker means by "inadequate." Heck, make ...

Hey there! I review this in return for your very useful evaluation of my poem! I noticed the rhyme scheme changes from pararhyme (half rhyme) in stanza I to full ...

Thanks for all your replies: they have been diverse and interesting. Some more views from representatives of other religions such as Judaism, Islam and Sikhism would be most welcomed.

Free speech

Hey there! I'm Gahks - glad to meet you! *handshake* It brightens up your day when you know someone has actually read the rules before posting! I won't bore you ...

Hey there, Gale! My name's Gahks - glad to meet you! *handshake* I see you read Harry Potter? I got bored with it ages ago; now, I mostly read whatever ...

Current events and what generally is right/wrong with the world. Family and friends. Beliefs, values and interests. My Chinese culture. Most importantly, my dream to be a real writer.

This poem has been taken down as a new version now appears in yours truly's anthology, "Public Spaces, Private Reflections." If you would like a copy, please contact me!

CSI

Hey there! As Snoink says, the main problem with this is the lack of images. You mention all these emotive phrases - "I'm not just sad / I'm angry" - ...

I agree with lukas8u: it's a response that evolved as a survival mechanism from our primordial ancestors.

pasta

Don't make big cuts if you don't need to. A lot of small cuts can have as large an impact as editing out a whole chapter or scene. If anything, ...

*gasps* You're Australian? Pretty cool... I'm British born Chinese, by the way. Again, you have really beautiful, lyrical imagery in this poem: "...I remember that eternal yesterday of that eternal ...