FlyingDream

Alright, I agree that your beginning needs to be a little bit more jazzed up (AKA: You need to make it more exciting). Otherwise, I enjoyed this piece. At least, ...

Thanks everyone for your great advice, I'll start writing right away (if I don't have too much homework to do) :)

I really want to make my characters believable, but I'm having problems. I want the readers to really get involved with my characters, and feel his or her pain and ...

YES YES YES. You do not know how long I've been looking for something to read (that's not published work). This is everything I look for in a fantasy novel, ...

Hmmmm it reminds me of....The night and very light colors. Well, yeah...I really like stories that make the reader think . Do you know what I mean? I like those ...

:shock: Very good, I'm impressed. I especially like your descriptions. The sun was a magestic yellow, like the lion's mane. The graceful Hibiscus, beautiful in its many colors. The breath-taking ...

I agree, this story is really not all that bad. I think that you should develop your character a bit more (tell us more about him make us care) you ...

I loved your story. It caught my eye, because it reminds me of that horrible feeling after I watch a scary movie or something and I can't get to sleep. ...

OK, Yeah, I agree, I don't think there should be a prologue. I dunno what I was thinking there. Thanks a billion for your comments there. So, I'm just going ...

Great job on your descriptions, I couldn't stop reading. You have a fan! Yay! I don't have any negative comments now, so keep up the good work.

Oh my gosh, Fin is mine. Just kidding. I really enjoyed your story, I do think you can cut down on the "ums" when your characters are speaking. To me, ...

Hmmmm, I am not very happy with this, but I've decided to post it anyway. What's the worst that can happen? :D Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this more ...

Hello, my name is Raye, but you can call me FlyingDream. I really like writing fantasy stories, and I'm always up in the clouds (not such a bad thing) ha ...

I also agree with the alligator thing. I do like how you've described everything, but you need to give us a chance to connect with the characters a little bit ...

Hey, I really liked how you described everything. It kept me reading. I don't have any complaints now, so keep writing!