FlyingDream

"Gleamed, glittered, sparkled." *Shudders* I really don't like those words. They seem like they belong in Barbie: Sparkle Fairy Princess Kingdom instead of in a novel.

What's wrong with the spacing?

Okay, I found a few things that need to be fixed, so I'll list them here. The boy was only about 13 years old but had made the torturous journey ...

Thanks guys! That's been bugging me for a while, so thanks for helping me out.

Is it okay to just start at Chapter 1, and continue on with the story for a little bit, THEN see if I want to put in a prologue? Or ...

Okay, I don't know why I didn't realize this earlier, and I'm sorry if this seems insulting, dumb, weird, or whatever. It's just that, I know everyone out there has ...

Thank you all for your helpful comments. But, I'm going to put away this story for a while and come back to it later. I'm like: ACK! This is driving ...

I really don't like Eragon. I think it's boring,and the characters are pretty much all the same.

*Gasp* NOT Lord of the Rings. I've read a lot of stories that are rip offs OF Lord of the Rings, but not Lord of the Rings itself. I do ...

In those days, before the shattering of the kingdoms in the Nether Age, there was a fair kingdom known as Ilystra, its high buildings set on shining hills. Here dwelt ...

Oooooo a good way of course. I kinda like those spooky stories. I don't have much to say right now that has already been said except: I'm excited to see ...

Yes, I think you should break this up a bit too. Work more to develop your character, all I pretty much know about him is that he hates the gods. ...

Wow a co-write! I like those. Anyway, I like how you introduced your character, Jayden. He seems like a real person to me. I also agree with Squalls on not ...

Ha ha ha, I agree with everyone too. Paragraph, paragraph, paragraph. But I'm sure you know that by now. I do like the names that you've put in here. They ...

Hmmmmm. It's not very long but I'll do my best to critique. Ok, I think you should develop your characters a wee bit more, plus, I think you should start ...