FlyingDream

Hi. Welcome to YWS, my name is FlyingDream. My first suggestion for your story is to change the font. It's kind of distracting. 2nd, your dialogue seems a little bit ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS. I'm FlyingDream. What I've read here is very very very good. But I suggest that you put spaces in between your paragraphs to make it easier ...

Hey Ayra, I've read your stuff before, but this is the first time I've commented...I think. :) Anyways, first of all, yes, this was very good. I liked it. But ...

Thanks for editing, now it's a lot easier to read. I'm still seeing some grammar and spelling errors, but not as bad as before. Read through your work AT LEAST ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I'm FlyingDream. Okay, your story was very good, it kept me reading all the way through. But, I suggest you give some names to your characters ...

Wow, thank you guys so much! I didn't think about all this. You're right. I shouldn't worry a lot, and just write. Thanks again for your feedback, it was awesome. ...

Short...But sweet. I really like this and yes it could be longer. I can't really say anything else except how great this was. I can't wait to read the whole ...

I agree with SeraphTree. Your names do sound Chinese. I know a website that can help you out with that though. It's called: It has some really useful name generators ...

I'm stuck. I really want to write a great fantasy novel, BUT I always end up getting rid of it because it's too cliche and not original. And is good ...

Mkay. This is from Tanslie's point of view. It is an edit of my first Intro. I have added a little bit more description and changed a few things around. ...

DesperateRomantic is right. This is a little short. But what I read was very good. The descriptions were great. I don't have anything else to say because it's so short. ...

Ooooo friendly were cats. I already like this! I like your history and character descriptions here, but my suggestion would be to put all of this into a prologue. Usually, ...

I liked this. I could relate to "Bookworm". Your characters are very believable, so that's very very good. It would be nice if you spaced this out a bit. Example: ...

Hello again! I was excited to see Chapter 2 up and running. Again, you need to space out your paragraphs. I'm seeing big blocks of text. Your spelling and grammar ...

A/N: Again, very, very short; will add on later. I've changed up the chapters a bit. (Hence confusing part) Tanslie is a PART of Chapter 1. I'm basically getting through ...