Flemzo

This was remeniscent of Prince's awful symbol name. The only things I can point out are the use of formally v. formerly, and "actually" in the line "But not the ...

I thought it was weird that clog doesn't have a rhyming line. Then I started thinging of words that rhyme with "clog" and how they could fit in. In short, ...

In World History, I got an assignment that made me absolutely thrilled: design a castle, build it, then write a story about the kingdom the castle belongs to going into ...

I like the use of second person here. It's almost as if he spent so long holding in his feelings that he finally needed to release them somehow, so he ...

Y'know... I kind of like the sound of "you" in place of the murderer's "he". It kind of changes the view a little, from a narrator telling a story with ...

Um, just wondering... where'd you get the name from? I may or may not use it. If I end up calling you something else instead, it's 'cause Flem sorta sounds ...

First off, like many people are going to say, space your paragraphs better. On here, you should enter twice for each new paragraph (like you'll soon see, once I make ...

I'm sure there will be some backlash, but I'm agreeing with Phorcys about the rhyming. Honestly, I stopped reading it halfway through because it didn't catch my attention. My only ...

My best friend died last night. He was stabbed five times in the chest. They say he bled out in the middle of the street, writhing in pain, his screams ...

As Claudette gets some rest, I have a few concerns: It just doesn't seem to flow quite right. In the first stanza alone, you have a few different line lengths, ...

Thanks for the critique. As for the time frame, the kidnapping was three hours before he woke up. What I meant to imply by the usage of "decades ago" was ...

Chad looked around nervously. Still groggy from the sedative, he blinked and looked around to get his bearings. He didn't recognize where he was, nothing looked familiar to him. There ...

halloween

My main one is to have $1000 in my checking account (I've over drawn three times... I figure it's time I have a stockpile built up). Then I have stuff ...

"Totally read it and stuff", haha. I'll check it out. I've only read a little bit of Vonnegut, but what I've read I've enjoyed.