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  • Romantic Novels Re: Part 1 of Chapter 7

    This is GREAT!!!! One thing though... “I wish I could help,” Steven murmured. The tears seemed to disappear as I smiled over at him, “Actually…there is something you can do,” ...

    May 9, 2008
  • Action/Adventure Novels Re: Chapter 2 of BC

    I like this! Once again, others have beaten me to nitpicking. Sigh. Ah well. I liked the stalker part. It's fascinating that Chester is very interested with the MC. It ...

    May 6, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Chapter 6 of Wrong Or Right

    This is FANTASTIC!!! I loved how you ended it with that sentence. How do you do this? Do you have a secret elf or something that write for you? :roll: ...

    May 6, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Chapter 5 of Wrong or Right

    This is GREAT! Keep up the GOOD work. How can you write like this??? It seems like you've actually experienced it but I know you haven't so... Unbelievable. Keep going! ...

    May 6, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Chapter 4 of Wrong or Right

    This was great! All of the nitpicking has already been done so there's nothing left for me to say. Keep up the good work! Alex

    May 6, 2008
  • Lyrics Re: Shadows On the Ceiling

    What i like though is the first and third sections of the song. Not all of it is bad. SORRY for being so harsh. Alex

    May 6, 2008
  • Lyrics Re: Shadows On the Ceiling

    I think you should take the 'oh's out. And this part: My heart aches to My head says no That doesn't really make sense... Why would your heart WANT to ...

    May 6, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Dawning

    I like this! I'm not a very big fan of poetry but oh well. I still liked this. And i agree with deafwriter_19... I did have this image of Yoda ...

    Apr 30, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Chap. 3 or Wrong or Right

    Everything wrong i see is already pointed out. Nothing for me to add. And about what Chern said, i disagree. I have a gay friend and he's really good friends ...

    Apr 29, 2008
  • Fanfiction Novels Re: Mutants Chap 1

    This is kinda based on X-Men... I'm just adding some mutants that could possibly be in X-Men but just not featured. Reminder: I am not a very good writer. Keep ...

    Apr 27, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Chapter 2 of Wrong or Right?

    Great! Only one typo that i can see. “I’m fine, just—can you give me a massage for a second.” I think it should be a question mark not a period. ...

    Apr 27, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Wrong or Right? (Chapter One)

    Good job! I couldn't find any typos. Though some of it was confusing. Was Calix going to Chad's house? And i'm not really clear on whether the house was chad's ...

    Apr 26, 2008
  • Fanfiction Novels Re: Chapter 2 of H/Hr fanfic

    I agree with Summerless. You don't need that comma in the second sentence. Also, who's Lepus? We have no clue who she is. “With pleasure , ” It should be ...

    Apr 25, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: First Kiss

    Great! Everything else has already been pointed out. I can't find anything else wrong with it... :D

    Apr 24, 2008
  • Fanfiction Novels Re: Harry/Hermione Fanfiction Chap. 1

    Great! I agree with summerless. Don't use the word sexy so often. I liked the accent of Ron. It actually made him sound like he was drunk. Good job!

    Apr 24, 2008


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