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Re: Part 1 of Chapter 7
This is GREAT!!!! One thing though... “I wish I could help,” Steven murmured. The tears seemed to disappear as I smiled over at him, “Actually…there is something you can do,” ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 2 of BC
I like this! Once again, others have beaten me to nitpicking. Sigh. Ah well. I liked the stalker part. It's fascinating that Chester is very interested with the MC. It ...
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 6 of Wrong Or Right
This is FANTASTIC!!! I loved how you ended it with that sentence. How do you do this? Do you have a secret elf or something that write for you? :roll: ...
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 5 of Wrong or Right
This is GREAT! Keep up the GOOD work. How can you write like this??? It seems like you've actually experienced it but I know you haven't so... Unbelievable. Keep going! ...
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 4 of Wrong or Right
This was great! All of the nitpicking has already been done so there's nothing left for me to say. Keep up the good work! Alex
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Shadows On the Ceiling
What i like though is the first and third sections of the song. Not all of it is bad. SORRY for being so harsh. Alex
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Shadows On the Ceiling
I think you should take the 'oh's out. And this part: My heart aches to My head says no That doesn't really make sense... Why would your heart WANT to ...
May 6, 2008 -
Re: Dawning
I like this! I'm not a very big fan of poetry but oh well. I still liked this. And i agree with deafwriter_19... I did have this image of Yoda ...
Apr 30, 2008 -
Re: Chap. 3 or Wrong or Right
Everything wrong i see is already pointed out. Nothing for me to add. And about what Chern said, i disagree. I have a gay friend and he's really good friends ...
Apr 29, 2008 -
Re: Mutants Chap 1
This is kinda based on X-Men... I'm just adding some mutants that could possibly be in X-Men but just not featured. Reminder: I am not a very good writer. Keep ...
Apr 27, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 2 of Wrong or Right?
Great! Only one typo that i can see. “I’m fine, just—can you give me a massage for a second.” I think it should be a question mark not a period. ...
Apr 27, 2008 -
Re: Wrong or Right? (Chapter One)
Good job! I couldn't find any typos. Though some of it was confusing. Was Calix going to Chad's house? And i'm not really clear on whether the house was chad's ...
Apr 26, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 2 of H/Hr fanfic
I agree with Summerless. You don't need that comma in the second sentence. Also, who's Lepus? We have no clue who she is. “With pleasure , ” It should be ...
Apr 25, 2008 -
Re: First Kiss
Great! Everything else has already been pointed out. I can't find anything else wrong with it... :D
Apr 24, 2008 -
Re: Harry/Hermione Fanfiction Chap. 1
Great! I agree with summerless. Don't use the word sexy so often. I liked the accent of Ron. It actually made him sound like he was drunk. Good job!
Apr 24, 2008
