Firestar

Reed- I sighed, "Do you need me to carry you back to camp?" She shook her head and tried to stand, but she collapsed again. "Here." I said handing her ...

What happened to the older days? When times were slower, and happiness easier. When a "friend in need", was a "friend indeed". What happened to the wars we fought? the ...

The beat of the song was a bit bumpy, but it's a good start!

I like it. It has good flavor and flows well. May we see more poems from you in the future.

7/10 (add some color and you could bring it up to 8/10)

Reed- I was out alone collecting apples from the orchard. I would have invited someone, except that right now I needed to think. What could Lexy be hiding? What would ...

6/10 points off for spelling refrigerator wrong, and points off for it being overused.

Interesting! Skipping from the first paragraph to the second paragraph is awkward though.

I won the game!!!

Once there was a monster who spoke only about bubble gum. He thought that he should take a lesson about bubbles and rubber bands. He could jump over the river ...

What a little kid would call a monk.

Is this a prologue? If it is you should edit your title to Masquerade prologue. This story sounds great! Hope you write more!

Sorry but I didn't get what this poem was about. It sounded so good at first but then you lost me. So the verdict is good use of words, but ...

Interesting! This poem caught your attention and held it, but sometimes the rhythm of the poem got bumpy. I think you should change the title to something like The Fairy's ...

Reed- "I totally agree with Lynx." I said, "There are way to many whitecoats to kill. If you go off to kill the whitecoats thinking that this is the only ...