FinalFreedom

Videl Vane Va'Teir, Love Slave in Labour Quarters "You've no need to trust me, I don't deserve it. I'm a trickster, people don't trust me, but I don't trust them. ...

LOL I don't blame you for being suspicious of her; she went and fell on someone. She's a suspicious person :P We'll keep Kester alive, promise :) And as for ...

This story was very interesting indeed, but I agree with the above user. At times, a writer can be "inspired" by a movie or other story and want to write ...

Videl Vane Va'Teir, Love Slave in Labour Quarters Videl held Brahn's hand tightly as they ran along the cobbled street towards the gate. His grip felt hot and foreboding; his ...

I agree with Charlie. We are a team of writers, and I commend you all for acting like a team. I have seen way too many storybooks become character-possesive. We ...

I'm a little confused by the placing of the slaves, now. At first, I thought everyone was in a separate cage. But after reading several of the other posts, about ...

Videl Vane Va'Teir, Love Slave In Labour Quarters Videl released her ears as the ship began to smooth out. The storm was over. Half her body wanted to go over ...

FinalFreedom, I like your style! ;) So, how about that. A little weakness and antagonism for poor Machavell! Please do say if I've portrayed Videl wrongly. I tried to incorporate ...

Videl Vane Va'Teir Videl's body slammed against the wall behind her and the ship lurched, causing her cracked ribs to burn with pain. She closed her eyes and bit her ...

I hate to be harsh, but this story didn't really pull me in. It was all just on big info-dump, you told us everything instead of showing us through character ...

Multiple descriptions going on here, so just to clear it up, are our characters the only ones on the ship as far as slaves go, or are there others? Good ...

Videl Vane Va'Teir, Love Slave(in Labour quarters) Videl smirked. Her trickery skills were still alive and running; unlike her hearing and apparently her sight. I still have a chance in ...

After my NaNo experience, it's back to the gym with me! In preparation for my NaNo, I went to the stores on the first(obviously anxious to get writing) and bought ...

Videl Vane Va'Teir; Love Slave Videl, still standing beside the door, was caught off guard when the ship went into a swell. She was thrown half way across the room ...

You are offcially my hero LOL I despise Twilight; mostly because I'm one of those hard to find teenage girls that hates anything that "fangirls" crush over. (E.G.- Robert Pattison, ...