Fand

*Wince.* I hate seeing archaic English forms butchered like this... though to be fair you've done a better job than most I've seen. Correct your "thees and thous" and I'll ...

I don't know; I disagree with Colleen on a few points, particularly the example she gave. I think the hallmark of poetry is that it doesn't need as many words ...

I love poetry written by kids... it's always so cute! :lol:

I have to say, whence, you've got to be one of my favorite poets on this site. You have a very unique and clear style, and you've certainly got a ...

I d'no if I can agree with Chandni on this one; your rhymes did feel rather forced to me, especially the "curb/Serb" one. I will agree that the ending was ...

Meh. Your images were solid, but the rhyme scheme really didn't do anything for me, and your structure (i.e., linebreaks and the like) is odd. Better luck next time?

I agree with whence and Clau. Not only was the poem itself inane and incredibly amateurish, but the poor spelling, grammar, and punctuation usage completely turned me off. Also, please ...

I agree with everything whence said. It's whimsical and fun, but doesn't have much real value. Cute. :)

Goose and sworddance stole all my comments! Lol. I guess all I can say is: watch your paragraph breaks, congratulations on a minimum of grammatical/spelling errors, and write more soon, ...

There is no such thing as a rhetorical question in poetry--or at least, there shouldn't be. The poem should make you want to answer, or at least contemplate an answer, ...

At first glance, this poem left me scratching my head. Then I went all English major on it, and fell in love. If I had to analyse this for a ...

:lol: I hear you. One thing--pay more attention to rhythm and flow, like Clau said. I rather liked the morbidness of it in connection with the topic, too... I know ...

Again. Plagiarism is not tolerated at YWS. *Reported*

Plagiarism is not tolerated here on the forums, pcpenne. *Reported*

First of all... it's Galilei. Galileo Galilei. Galilee is, as Ink pointed out, a Biblical city. And I second everything Brad said. Scrap this, try reading some decent poetry, and ...