Fand

*Cough navelgazing cough.* This is tripe. You've misspelled simple words like "impossible," and the whole thing is a ridiculous ego-trip. This should be a diary entry, not a poem. Scrap ...

Aww, SD! Think of it as tough love. ;) And this is much better! Now for that closer look I promised, da? Hm. S1! There's no need for a comma ...

I'm curious as to why this poem has no critiques, and yet so many inferior ones have plenty... hm. On to the crit! Suggested corrections, first. ^_^ Babylon watched the ...

This seemed to be, in most parts, a collection of random observations juxtaposed against one another--S2 in particular is an example of this. Also, I'm confused as to why, after ...

Dark, Cold, Dreary, A swift, meloncholy moan, The sky starts to cry, here the darkness roams. Is there a reason for all capitalized words in the first line? If there ...

It should be "until," first of all--one "l" only--and I agree with everything that Snoink and WM said. Scrap it.

o0 Um. Well, the style's not bad. Not really anything I'd call truly poetic, but it's certainly evocative, and given the subject matter, probably quite fitting. The spacelessjuxtapositionofwords is ki

American: color English: colour American: neighborhood English: neighbourhood American: analyze English: analyse Though I can honestly say, I've never seen "advertise" spelled "advertize." It just loo

Pretty photos! The first is definitely your best. The ones of the house and plants are a little busy, and don't really have a focus, but the grounds there really ...

Hallo, Jake. Met you in the chat, liked you, decided to stop by. ^_~ Hope to see some of your work around the site, and I'll second Ari--if you have ...

Ari! You are too pretty! Stoppit! :lol: You're going to steal all the YWS boys' hearts if you keep that up. Lovely dress indeed, m'dear. ^^

It had been a while since Finn was involved in a true fight. Sure, there had been brawls, both major and minor, in the tavern, but they rarely involved cold ...

I jerked awake at the alien sound of a woman’s scream, gasping in the darkness. One hand shot out towards where Alain should be—he wasn’t there. As the scream died, ...

Jimtide squeezed through the throng with a scowl, leaning into each shove with unnecessary force. His irritation earned him more than a few curses and barely-dodged blows as he pushed ...

Gorgeous, Fabien. I think this poem is you at your best. I second everything catharsis and miyaviloves said!