Fand

As many before me have said--rhyming itself is not inherently bad. The problem is that most amateur poets assume that all poetry must rhyme and therefore he or she might ...

No time for an in-depth critique as I'm at work--I'll try to edit one in tonight when I get home. ^~ As it is, it works decently as a poem, ...

I think the only way to classify your writings is "disturbed (disturbing?) whimsy." This certainly fits well enough. :lol: Thanks for giving me something to giggle at during yet another ...

S1 Hail! to the uttermost fear in Time to the Great Wheel's turning. We sense the end drawing near as the sands of the sea begin burning. 1.1--"uttermost" should be ...

Note 1: it's "haiku." Spell it correctly and experienced readers will be more inclined to take you seriously. ;) Note 2: Don't double-post. If you think of something you want ...

I'm going to have to side with Ed on this one. This poem just didn't do anything for me. I actually rather liked the style, but the repetition of "single" ...

I agree with bubbles. This poem just doesn't go anywhere. I understand she's ten--but ask her if she can write a little more to better explain what she's trying to ...

*whistles* Thank you, EBM. Poems like this give me hope that even though YWS is being overrun by talentless n00bs, there's still a solid base of good writers here. This ...

A void of falling petals Spiraling down in a symphony Singing songs we cannot hear And crashing. Still in silence. Leaving bare the tearstained fingers Frostbitten in the soothing water ...

The day begins when I woke up into the darkness. Nothingness swallows me whole. I struggle up only to be pushed farther down. The world for me ends. As I ...

Ratchet: Nate's currently away, working at a summer camp until mid-August, and has limited Internet access. He's usually around quite a bit more than this. My rant: this site is ...

Dathan's head was spinning. She'd been in with the engineers in the steam engine when the attack threw it aside like a toy train; the abnormally tall Gaelk vaguely remembered ...

NAME: Alim Dathan (Note that "Alim" is her family name, "Dathan" her given name.) RACE: Gaelk AGE: 28 HEIGHT: 4'10" WEIGHT: 95 lbs. EYES: Green HAIR: Long, brown, and shaggy, ...

Wow. Brad--I have to admit, I haven't read everything you've written and posted on YWS, but of what I've read this is the most real and emotional. Usually your prose ...

Finn sat in the cave, arms propped on her knees, and watched the prisoner. Everything about him rubbed her the wrong way--everything about him intrigued her. She eyed him suspiciously. ...