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Re: Cigars
Actually, two hyphens equals a dash; space-hyphen-space is commonly understood, but grammatically incorrect. ^~ This wasn't bad. I'd agree with Clau, however, when she says that it didn't quite "hit ...
Jul 20, 2007 -
Re: It's Gay Pride Month!
I agree with Kaz. Only a sadistic God would create a human being with "sinful" desires, knowing fully well (as He must) that humans are only mediocre when it comes ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: .
...Scrap this. It was terrible; nothing more, nothing less. And please refrain from using caps in the future; none of the experienced (read: good) members of this site will take ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: pretty princesses get raped
burnished crystals formed in compacted dirt and compacted lovers' legs and arms I love this. The last stanza was fantastic; I particularly liked the parallels between the pore imagery and ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: Fueled by:
o0. Interesting. I didn't really like this. You have a few decent phrases ("Proverbial: / Anthems and swords / Are all I'll never need"), but on the whole this was ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: In the Wreck
I rather liked this, and it seems Kitty's covered just about everything I found. The only thing I have to comment on: your refrain. It was very cliched and colorless ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: Jane Austen Scam - Rather Amusing :)
*Snorts.* How can you miss that line? I've been able to quote Austen since I was twelve. :lol: Silly publishers.
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: Paperweight
I agree; this is really a well-done little poem. ^^ The one thing that really put me off, though, is the spacing; why is there an empty line between each? ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: Musically Inclined
The first single line stanza is, I assume, an attempt at emphasizing importance or depth or something of that sort--and it fails rather miserably, I'm afraid. The last single line ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: The Art of War: Part IV_The Left Flank
I disagree with the rhyming; I think this section, though not as brilliant as the first two, is solid and good. ^^ The only part that was a bit confusing ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: The Art of War: Part III_Snow and Blood
I agree with Clau's assertion that this is the weakest of the sections I've read thus far. The imagery, especially in the beginning, gives the feeling of "telling" rather than ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: The Art of War: Part II_Alone in the Night & Prep for Wa
Yet another beautiful installment in this little series. ^~ The only thing that gave me pause was: The vanguards gather, In rigid lines Pennants flying in a stiff breeze, As ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: The Art of War: Part I_ An Offense
I liked how you balanced the two sides of a war: the ideological aspect, as evidenced by the "battle of words" (and I loved the line, "In halls of marble, ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: Her suicide note
It was... mediocre at best. You seem to have some potential though, so keep working at it; Whence seems to have covered all of my nitpicks. Be well, do good ...
Jul 19, 2007 -
Re: good ol' fashioned rock and roll
Them blues are just all just the same, - Was there a reason for the double "just" here? Roll over Beethoven and just let me be. - All right, that ...
Jul 19, 2007
