Fand

It does sound like a rap, lol. I liked it; I do think that it was a little... repetitive in its message, but at least the way you conveyed the ...

I agree that this was far too long; like I said in my last review on one of your pieces, a true poet uses fewer words, but those words are ...

The comma in the penultimate line is unnecessary. ^~ I really enjoyed this; it certainly is reminiscent of Clau's brand of ghoulish humor. ^^ Well done, Ed.

I agree with Wiggy in that there are far too many adjectives in this piece; your verbs and nouns should be strong enough not to need descriptive phrases! Also: this ...

I do love this. ^^ I especially love the "frantic needles" (though perhaps a better word might be "frenetic?") and the burning feathers. Gorgeous images. ^^

Hm. Too many full stops; I agree with Clau's analysis of that as "jumpy and cluttered." The rest of it has a great deal of potential; why turn a reader ...

I did like this, especially the line: "And her father dissected me / with his cutlery." What a perfect way to describe that! That's one of those lines that makes ...

*Sighs.* We don't approve of plagiarism here, Bambie. I've gotten chain emails with this exact poem in it--I'd have it to prove, if I hadn't deleted it since it was ...

Once again, you rely on italics to draw the reader's eye. Bad, worse, and worst. Your grasp on the English language seems... shaky at best, especially given the line "You ...

Clau: Gee, thanks! ^^ You're making me blush. Bambie: I don't know about Clau's statement that I'm one of the best poets on here, but we certainly do have a ...

Too true, DL; I definitely cried at that part. What a noble way to go, though! *sniffles*

Hm... the new version strikes me as rather prose-y. You do so much telling, and so little showing!

Hello, Isalena! Please observe, before I begin, that we generally encourage new members to critique more than just one piece before posting their own stuff; it's good for you, as ...

I agree, Sureal. This really WAS the perfect culmination of the series, and I loved it! The one thing I didn't like? The epilogue. I've read so many things like ...

Hm. I'd agree with the analysis of this poem as a bit overwrought. A poet is supposed to be able to say the same thing as a prose writer in ...