Fand

Ooh... this I like. Could we start one up? I'd love to take part in something collaborative like this. ^^

o0. What's with the abuse of commas? And why are the linebreaks so arbitrary? Stop listing--start expressing. And please, steer clear of cliches like a cold wind withering the flowers!

You spoke too soon. ;) Leave it to Sir Fand to deliver the well-deserved punctuation rebuke. Admittedly, the rest of your poem is solid, if not stellar--nothing to write home ...

The best line, I think, is the last; as AlleyCat says, it's visual and repulsive--and in its repulsiveness lies its attractiveness. For the rest of it: the linebreaks are a ...

She was wearing a gingham dress The passivity of that statement really detracts from the powerful imagery you have. I'd suggest changing "was wearing" to "wore." The stripes of white ...

The first stanza is good and solid poetry, though it's not quite up to the standards I'm used to getting from you. I do, however, absolutely adore: tired lips well-beaten ...

*nods along with Imp* 'Tis true! Ari on the right. =) Preeetty.

I don't think it's a matter of personal preference about the length--it's a matter of this poem, as I said before, tripping all over itself. Newborn Bambi's got nothing on ...

Um, Vernon? Kaz said "a hundred or so years ago," not "several thousand years ago." The past few centuries have not been kind to those deviating from the norm. My ...

O.O Seriously. I'm nineteen, and I know that I--and most of my friends--wouldn't be capable of supporting and raising an eight-year-old on my own.

Awww, Liz! *huggles* I won't comment on the content now; wait until I can catch up with you on MSN instead, da? But as to the prose itself--you've got a ...

That pose feels so good! ^^ I haven't ridden in far too long, too... you've made me simultaneously want to go home and do yoga, and go find a good ...

I agree with the above. If I was grading this, you would have gotten not a failing mark--but certainly a very low one.

Not half bad--but not nonfiction. ^~ If you expressly tell us that it's fictional in the beginning, why is it in this section, hm? Also--there's a typo in the title. ...

I really love this--but I'm afraid it barely qualifies as poetry in my mind. A gorgeous sentiment, perfectly expressed... but not verse.