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Skye stole my comments before I could even think of them. :lol: The second, third, and fourth lines aren't half bad--so why bookend them with a mundane beginning and a ...

... Well, it was vaguely humorous. It wasn't poetry.

*shrugs apathetically* I'm afraid to say that the only thing I thought while reading this was, "God, I wish I hadn't chosen this one as the first critique of the ...

Raw. - Vasiliy Nikiforov Eurgh! - Curren Fletcher *rolls eyes* Can't take a joke, can you? - Vasiliy Speaking of eggs: which came first?

xD ...And, for good measure: xD

Go into the cheese business and get a job at an upscale restaurant in Paris. And invest in noseplugs. What would you do if you needed something to drink, had ...

Those were rhetorical questions, dear. ^~ They're things to think about while writing poetry. And a general rule of thumb is that if the message of the poem, or what ...

As an English major in college, yes, I'm acquainted with the term "personification." ^~ I was just saying that the personification of shears as eager doesn't make sense in the ...

Dark shatters along with the silence; Fragments of the dream I'd had flash in front of my eyes, And wishing I can remember exactly what it had been about. I ...

Hm. Well, I really liked the beginning, but the direction you took this poem left me thinking, "...Why?" It just seemed a little overdramatic and felt rather like an empty ...

Navel-gazing. Your poem is a prime example of this--and no, it's not a good thing. Poetry needs to have the following things among others (or at least consideration of the ...

Well, for an acrostic, it's good. For a poem? You've done better.

Hello, nothingface. I see you're a new member. Here's something you might want to remember while you're around the forums: Don't double-post! It's bad etiquette. Sort of like putting your ...

The first is the best; then the third; and I really don't care for the second at all--it's a little too indistinct and vague. The lines and curves in the ...

Bad Ofour! No bumping! I'll take a look at these and let you know, yeah? But next time a topic's being ignored and you really want opinions, PM authors you ...