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This couldn't be happening. Why had he tried to stop her? He'd asked her to kill him--she still had the note, she had proof--but he'd done everything he could, given ...

Braddy-- You're right. Augusten Burroughs has nothing on you. I don't have many suggestions to make as of yet--there's not that much to comment on, and it is a first ...

Day 1. 2:39pm. Angie. Angie rolled, her shoulder taking the brunt of the fall, to protect the wailing six-year-old in her arms. The adrenaline coursing through her was no match ...

Dono, you are the shizz.

OOC: Dono and I had some important business to finish up before we leave the cave, and the arrival of Master Quinn interrupts that, so this post should go before ...

Night came, and the storm persevered, and the group battened down for another night in a cave. Gods, was Finn sick of caves. Tonight, though, it should help her--after all, ...

Honestly? This poem has potential. Your spotty and inconsistent rhyming patterns make that difficult to see. As it is now, your stanzas go: A-A-A-A / B-B-C-D / E-F-G-F / H-A-I-K. ...

A. The Title : Please do not put your title in all caps. If it's a good title, it'll catch the reader's eye without resorting to such amateur tricks. Also, ...

'Melia's hit the nail dead on the head. This really is a touching gesture--but that's all it is. This isn't poetry. It's a pretty list that a girlfriend--and only a ...

*rubs temples* Okay. Here we go. Point 1: Cliches are bad. The bad news? Almost everything in this poem is a cliche. Oceans of sorrow, learning to hold onto love ...

Finn couldn't remember ever being quite this cold. At first, the storm had been bracing, refreshing; the chaos of it all made her feel alive, and the sensory overload only ...

In ecru tanks they travel through the lands Of roaring flax In search of arsenic machines That pump through bistre crust hungrily. Love the color imagery here; really makes a ...

Overall: well, you've certainly got the concept of powerful imagery down pat. Remember that saying about "too much of a good thing," though? You've got a prime case of that ...

Clau: Thanks! Fixed the typo. gadi: I never mentioned them in so many words; that stanza, though, is what gives the poem a background. Sir Trident: Hail! Someone got it. ...

I have nothing of myself to give you. My thirst has bled me dry—but at last— I have found a vessel to hold me; and, forgive me, it is not ...