Fand

This is simple, yes. Too simple. This is good if you're turning it in for a middle school English project, but if that's not your aim here, it's going to ...

Creased Japanese cherry blossoms fall at Saint Peter's feet like ivory tear drops, pirouetting from the coarse and wiry hair of an arbor bride like some disjointed wedding train. Wow. ...

This poem bothers me a little bit. I understand what you tried to do with the shape of the poem, and I'm familiar with that sort of structure, but it ...

Hm. I'm thinking this should be moved to one of the prose forums. As to the writing itself, it's an interesting, abstract little snippet that has a good deal of ...

Dear, if you didn't write it, it doesn't belong in this forum. Maybe in the Lounge, or the Christian usergroup, but not here. This is for writers to post their ...

Hmm. This poem is giving me pause for a few reasons: (a) The concept. It's not a bad one; I much prefer poems exploring the nature of settled relationships, their ...

There's potential here; the image of the sea of people and the bubbles struck me as, while somewhat sophomoric, also something that could be built upon. As it is, the ...

The number of mistakes in this, quite frankly, disqualifies it from being even an attempt at poetry. Yes, the structure is missing; that, however, could be forgiven if there was ...

PA >> Thanks! And Ari >> Yay, it's noticeable! Thank you! ^_^ I've been working my tush off. Literally. ^_^

Sohini--I love the effects on that photo! You look straight out of a horror movie. And not one of those crappy gore-and-killing horror movies--I'm talking a classy, psychological thriller. ^_^ ...

Piranha stole all my comments before I even read the poem, I'm afraid. This is truly gorgeous, Muse; I love the alliteration, and the imagery is so vibrant, especially since ...

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Brad--though perhaps not so harshly. There is potential here. In particular, I liked the image present in the first line--the conscience ...

shanan-cat and ink_on_fire: I believe revolver-x decided to remove the poem; hence, the ellipses. Can we get a mod here to lock this?

This poem has quite a lot of potential, Lady of Fire. Your images, while not necessarily the most original or the most vibrantly conveyed, are solid and easily accessible, and ...

Hello, Jax! It's nice to meet someone else from the NYC area. Welcome to YWS--I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got for us.