Fan

9/10. looks nice

Sounds like a book about finding out about what people are really like inside. Might scan it but doesn't sound like my type of book. Return of the heirs

It appears the other two have picked most things out so... About names- I believe you should introduce names of races, professions or rank that are made up gradually and ...

Thank you for all your crits, they have been very helpful and I have edited it as advised. I hope you enjoy future stories.

When Markus didn’t answer immediately, Creiha glanced at his face to see Markus was staring at the door distractedly. “Markus?” When Markus didn’t answer immediately Creiha glanced at his face

Chapter 2 – A chance meeting Seth woke in a warm and comfortable bed with a feeling of confusion and dull pain in his head. His vision was blurry at ...

Sounds to me like a book about gods and clestial beings in a fantasy world. It would certainly catch my attention (into gods) and would probably pick it up if ...

I can see potential in it if the rest of the story goes well but right now I'm not too sure because I haven't seen the start of a plot. ...

Later in my story, one of my characters has to die for another characters to do something essential to the plot, and I'm dreading it, even though it's so far ...

One thing I've been noticing in my work is my inability to paragraph properly. This has risen from the fact I'm juggling three GCSE english essays and the paragraphing style ...

At home I have no problem with anyone looking at my work becuase no one really cares or knows what I'm doing (i can barely get ideas most of the ...

Sounds like an love story aimed at adults probably during the 1600s when there was a whole issue about class and love. The Crimson Path

Umm... lets see, it's probably about the sea (hey, that ryhmes), or something like the sea like a sea of emotions or similar. Could be reated to turbelent times, an ...

Once again you have displayed superb skills in writing. Strick seems to haev gotten even more mysterious for me as I always assumed that he was Svarë, which you have ...

Try to change the POV in a sequence if it circulates between certain characters. It's extremely annoying if you enter one character's POV in a disjointed rythm. Try to change ...