Fan

The two colossal spires showed above the canopy of trees. They were the symbol and the landmark for the City of Trees and were a natural wonder, especially in such ...

I was rather trying to show what hugpatrol could achieve if she improved rather than bragging. Anyway, removed the offending sentence should anyone else find it vain. Sorry for the ...

Saw no-one had crit this so I'll give it a shot (but I'm no master). Vathen faced a sleepless night. Planning things out and wondering what he should do about ...

Although it is a short story, I find that there is very little chaarcter developement, or that the character seems real. As the others have pointed out, there are also ...

Wasn't there a topic in writing tips about this story? Anyway, hope to read more.

Use more spacing so that your piece is easier to read as most people don't bother critiwuing pieces that they find difficult to read. There seems to be very little ...

Changes...done! :)

Thank you all for the crits! *hugs for everyone!* I must admit that this story was painfully dragged out of me so I wouldn't be having a "writer's block" (really, ...

Chapter 1 – Summer’s end Seth sat at the breakfast bar, absently eating a bowl of cereal while lamenting the end of the summer holidays. He had grudgingly woken up ...

Made the changes, glad you enjoyed it! It's a rewrite of a stroy I had going, but failed to lift off in high fantasy, so I'm aiming at urban now. ...

The building was massive, towering nearly fifty feet above the ground, but oddly, being such a tremendous site , no damage had seemed to come to its exterior. -The bit ...

Good, job, it reads a lot better now! :)

I have to agree with Squallz here on that description is somewhat lacking in some bits. Its a problem that I have sometimes as well. What you should do is ...

Sorry if its info dumpy at the start. Things are meant to be revealed as the story goes on. Anyway, thank you fr all the crits!

9/10 makes me happy :)