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Jaren entered the bar warily. He was dressed like a peasant to avoid being noticed but he lacked the grubbiness of most peasants. He had been sent here by the ...

I love writing about power struggles in my stories, I'll have to join in. This'll be my first storybook. Name : Jaren Keel Age : 27 Hair : Light brown ...

I liek this. At first I thought it was haiku then after some headbanging I remembered Haiku has less lines (I think). Its a bit too short to crittique really ...

Bishop Lord Susant the Crepuscular of Westley Waterless So I'm a man of the cloth, eh? According to the dictionary Crepuscular means "relating to or like the time of day ...

Thanks for the crits. Especially you Kool, I owe you one. I can't say i've heard of maximum ride but I'll check it out. Yours Truly. FA

: The Samurai sword As this is set in another world, it's not a good idea to use a term like "samurai"- it confuses Nick*. Instead, perhaps you could say ...

Ha! You think you have it bad. I've had my plotline changed about a million times now. I have to check if I'm meant to be wearing a tunic and ...

It looks a bt like a rough sketch but I think the shape of things go quite nicely. And that red splodge on the hem of her dress is blood, ...

Hi Ginger, (you don't mind me calling you taht do you?) Ummm... I'm not a romance person but seeing as you asked on chat I think I'll try to do ...

“Show some respect!” Cassandra struck his face Although I know it's Colin's face being slapped, it would look better if you introduced him into the chapter with his name instead ...

Chapter 1- Watcmen and Golems “Hey, stop moving so fast!” “Ouch! Who stepped on my foot?” “Shut up you two! We’ll get busted if you don’t keep quiet.” “Like you ...

I wrote my first serious story at ten. It was about royal twins whose kingdom gets invaded by their ally and their father is killed fighting. And when Fire Emblem ...

Thanks for the crits. :) I was going by what Rita Skeeter said (I hate the woman but she turned out to be right). She said that Dumbledore's and Grindelwald's ...

Seems like a book about someone who is missing the basic things of life (liek breathing) and goes on a 'quest' of fulfillment. Black Mancer Investigations

The Amulet of Samarkand A boy named Nathniel one day summons the wise cracking Djinn Batimaeus with revenge on his mind. That's trouble...for Bartimaeus that is who has to carry ...