Fan

Although this is a very good chapter, I'm still afriad Adel is a blank canvas to me. If not the previous chapter, this one would have been a good place ...

I stumbled slightly and fell to my knees, growling back at the weight of the battered suitcase, which weighed more than the Earth itself it seemed. The rain whipped around ...

Well, you can have the long and drawn out but still good type of fight scene, but then you can also get the long and drawn out to the point ...

Although some of them did probably hate the jews as a result of propaganda or past experiances (like Hitler), some SS officers just did as they were ordered to, trusting ...

Oh, I see you've reached popular topic status, well done! I think that's a first for a story.

'Fraid I'm in an emo moment of my life.

My answer to your question would probably be yes; I would love to be a published author. In fact, being a writer is the job I've set myself on achieving ...

I had one hell of a writer's block a few months ago, one that lasted for several months. But even if I couldn't put pen to paper to not even ...

Nice chapter, but I found that I couldn't follow the dialogue as it was stuctured strangely. It would be a new line for each time a different character speaks. The ...

Only found one thing I have a problem with. She’s a princess. It might be better to put this into italics as it runs as a line of thought rather ...

Wow. This is spectacular. How old are you? Fourteen?!!?!? The ram looks very life like and you have a very good blend of colours which compliment each other nicely. Good ...

I thought that this was rather good once I got it. But I think that's what you thought was wrong, understanding the story. Well, for the first few paragraphs I ...

Ah, I didn't realise that there was a prologue. My bad, ignore it, I think it's ok as that sort of detail. As for changing the font I'm not sure, ...

I find this type of font rather hard to read in, I keep losing where I am, could you change it to times roman is possible please? Anyway, I have ...

Ohhh... this looks good! :) Like Kitty said, it could do with a description of what the set should look like before the dialogue starts (whicch is very good by ...