Fan

Hey penguin. I'm no poetry person but I thought I'd say something. Most of this will probably be absolute bish-bosh though. And unto the truth did our hero set His ...

Maggie stopped at a rest stop fifty miles out of the city and pulled two hundred dollars out of her bank account, leaving only three hundred and thirty dollars remaining. ...

One thing I noticed was the title's spelt wrong. :lol: Typos suck. “K.” She responded. I can see what you're trying to say but you've gone about it the wrong ...

Uh… Someone that can help us.” Knall still had man more questions but was glad that Derez had answered at least some of his. The someone doesn't need to be ...

(First things, you should really change the pull in of your story. Saying YOU MUST READ THIS!!!! etc. doesn't really help you get any crits let alone views.) Paragrahing. You ...

Wow, I have to day this was great. It intriguied me and it kept me glued to the computer screen throughout. Very creepy with the entire affair involvng the phone ...

This was a very enjoyable piece. I feel sorry for the clown; imagine making that speech and then being laughed at? Are you writing more of these...ah, wait yes you ...

Although is was pretty good, one thing bugged me throughout. Pretty much over half of it was one big info-dump. This is a big no-no as it deters peopel from ...

'Lo Bear, noticed this had no crits so I thougth I'd help, The gloom hung in the wintry day, when the snow fell, and my mother died . This sentence ...

*the doors open and two young people step through. One is a girl with tawny hair who looks puzzled. The other is a tall boy with fair hair who always ...

When asked the question why he became a soldier, my character Kel replies, "To be a part of that great force which will not back down in the protection of ...

'Lo CCF. noticed you haven't logged on in a while. Is the business still open because I recently ordered a crit.

The ocean had long since turned black with vile chemicals, but something about the view had a dark charm. The blend of opaque waves with dirty gray sand had an ...

Ah, poop. It appears I missed it while I was at boarding school. Would have changed it to something simpley like "Fan". I wondered where all these changes were coming ...

Hey ginger, I stood beneath the large and twisted oak tree , that shadowed the doorway of Adel's tucked away haven, watching the house from afar , afraid that if ...