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Hello, thansk for the lovely crit. I agree this chapter is pretty shaky, probably my worst one now I look at it. Sorry I've been so late in replying, as ...

We're not wierd. least me, Seth and Elayna aren't. Not sure about Moon though. ~ Rylie Moon will be angry if she finds out you said that. ~ Elayna. Moon's ...

*falls over* ~ Elayna

Seraphtree-I can understand about not gettin git. You should read the fist chapter to understnad(in portfolio, the one not in parts). Fye- Thanks. i forgot about the word. Chnaged it ...

*taken away for editing*

lol. I've noticed how everyone seems to be rearing to sue them/ruin their reputation, etc. Maybe you could just talk it out with them and agree to have them never ...

hehe, thanks for the help smurf!

I've made the changes and thank you all for your crits! I'm such an idiot, making so many mistakes. I'll work on setting ror the next chapter but it's meant ...

Ah, Claud, what I was trying to say was how do you do this: But instead of having the URL for it. It's the topic title/ whatever I want to ...

UPDATE: Sunday 28th October Well, I decided to scrap project no. 3 and project number two is on indefinite hold while I sort out Journey's . I've done a large ...

Main problem is you start things with 'I' too much. Its the common trap of first person. NO ONE WAS IN IT. -This part does not need to be capitalised. ...

Computers? That is what I mean, Mr Alex. These 'computers' you speak of wouldn;t be normal in our world. As for me and Miss Elayna? Well, we're normal enough, I ...

Night hung thickly, like water, always everywhere. That sentence sounds rather awkwards, mainly due to the always and the placing of everywhere. I can see the kind image you're trying ...

Normal in what sense, Alex sir? Normal in the sense of your world or ours? ~ Rylie. What do you mean by 'world's'? ~ Elayna. I think that we may ...

Fantasyartist wrote: I was at boarding school and my friends was trying to kick me off the house computer stating 'I wasn't doing anything'. To prove him wrong I went ...