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I'll choose Moon Silvresque (1st name due to change) for this, she'd be more interesting. 1) Moon feels that she must do what has to be done herself, as she ...

Ohhh...penny! ~ Elayna. *Steps back into Jeremy's path. Calamity, falling, and a whole lot of pain ensues* Ouch, are you alright? ~ Rylie. My body's new name is pain. ~ ...

The writing itself has improved and you're getting your point across clearer with more force, but I have to nitpick on the subject. I had somethign to do with emo, ...

Lol, my glasses slide down my nose all the time. But that's because they're broken (can't be bothered to get them fixed....)

Hey, thanks for the crits. Yes, Adonis follows the Lord and Kyvor the Shadows. And your crit wasn't bas at all rubric. 'Twas pretty helpful. ;) I'll look at petersburg ...

Victoria hopped down the steps of the elegant staircase and landed softly on the floor below, her pendant bouncing on her chest as it shined its tranquil blue shined should ...

BBB, here's to you. Have a merry Christmas.

Merry C bbb, I'll start off with a line-by-line. “So, what do you want for Christmas?” It only took one look at the fat, bearded man for the young girl ...

Hello Errant. “Constance--” You only need one dash here. Two is largely unneccessary. -“Clashing to extinction, the bastards of the Goddess annihilated each other until only humanity remained.�

Just picked one thing up that no-one's mentioned. “Hard to believe you 're almost are sixteen already.” he said with strong, nurturing tone. You're missing the -re from this sentence. ...

Prologue - Dark Tidings Lightning tore across the star studded sky and the rain battered Kyvor relentlessly as he struggled against the howling wind. His progress up the winding path ...

Hello Kazdrea. If you ever post your stories, high chance they'll be read by me. *points to name* I regularly haunt the fantasy section. If I don't comment, PM me ...

Hey, Fye;). Been a long time. It reads a lot better, but now it all seems pretty rushed. One moment, he's at home, another, he's at the battle field. We ...

Due to recent events, I found this poem even more touching. Though not flawless, I'd say the structure is good enough for my poorly poetic brain to not pick up ...

Period fiction. 18/1900s? To do with conspiricies(sp?) involving the masons. Probably includes some sort of hunt. If the cover was good I'd pick it up. Journey's Dusk