Faerlan

Hi! *feels silly* I forgot to spellcheck the title, thanks :). Thank you very much for the review, yes I think the main problem is it is too vague and ...

Dappled skin from shadows the blanket leaves. Our fingers pray. But slipped through the loose threads I tugged at.

Thank you for the comments, I'll bear them in mind next time. I didn't realise quicksand was one word, although, since my punctuation wasn't debatable at any other point in ...

I bury my hands deeper deeper salty grains flow through open fingers. Centimetres, millimetres of seconds pass. Slower still. Hands stir, pulled, quick sand snares them the agonising wait moments, ...

The most useful thing I was told about haikus is that some of the best ones have a 'twist' at the end. To interest the reader and make the haiku ...

I told her the leaves would fall, she didn’t believe me being the older of the two. Now I am to blame. When they fell she glanced down, my lips ...

9/10 It's cool.

Deep, throaty rumble, Sounds echoed: amplified, Metallic, harsh, screech, din. Angry drivers sounding horns Selfish humanity. Calm countryside, dew soaked grass, Beast weaves its way through, Dark blo

I liked the layout of it, and the way the poem felt sort of chlostrophobic to read, mainy because everyone knows what it feels like to have to be at ...

Thank you, I added it in. I was thinking 'to comma or not to comma' because I didn't want it to seam too like the line above. To be honest, ...

I love the flowers in the second one, they really capture how paper-like they are. The 'in' also has really nice lettering, but that doesn't show up on the other ...

Having just done my GCSE original writing coursework, I have to say, I didn't do anything more structured than my normal writing, and I got an A*. I don't think ...

Fallen fears of a broken land, Forgotten trees alone still stand, Warm hearts cut, cold minds shut, Rotten economy, poisoned command. Eyes closed should never see, Damnéd prophesies come to ...

I didn't like the repetition of 'grow up' in the first stanza, and I thought the sixth line was a bit short to keep the rhythm flowing. However, other than ...

I know lots of people like that, and I think the poem really captures that kind of feeling. I love how by describing the girl, it is showing how giving ...