FadingBrighter

With music he tricks you, with music so sweet. Tunes that will lead you astray… Chapter 2 Valarie and Taylor reached the beach around three in the afternoon. They were ...

your plot is a good one, it sounds very interesting, but you do have a few problems. 1. Your story is very historically inacurat. I don't think you reall understand ...

Interesting story, i wish you hadn't stopped it where you did=)but I do have some tips that i hope will help First and for most: 'I got out an apple. ...

Great plot, very intresting, though i do have a little advice. Go back through your story and read every line. your largest problem was flow. Your writing seemed a little ...

Unspoken terror, a threat to all men... Chapter 1 Valarie stared out the taxi window out into the bright sunny day that seemed to be insistent on being the opposite ...

He sits in the stream, and is playing his tunes As beautiful as can be But don’t stay and listen, run fast as you can Or forever lost you will ...

Very well written story. it pulled me in from the first sentence. Also, it flowed very well, with very few grammatical errors. I only have a few tips. 1."The weapon ...

Thank you both so much for your replies. This was only a short thought i wrote after a seen in a movie. im very glad for both your comments and ...

Your word choice in the beginning is fantastic. But after that your writing kind of falls apart structure wise. Your story was choppy, you had to many simple sentence without ...

Very interesting plot, it sounded very cool. i only had a few issues: 1. When the old man is using 'thou' to address the girl. i know you wanted him ...

I'm a history buff, so let me just give you some historical info. to help make your story more accurate. 1.Pirate captains are usually voted into power by the entire ...

Your Characters are wonderful, very well written. they almost seem to leap off the page. but Chrissy seems very young. Her thoughts are short and simple,with no real depth. Also, ...

Kerewyn stood dead still, staring at the hand only inches away from her body. For a moment, time seemed to stop, allowing her a little longer with the man before ...