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Re: A Prayer for a Pitcher
This is such an interesting piece. At first, I thought it was a baseball pitcher, as in a human, because you started with the senses. And then, as your story/poem ...
Nov 18, 2010 -
Re: Crystal Release (Prologue and Chapter 1, Crystal Blessing)
Your story is....confusing. Try to seperate the different dialougue, it's very easy to get lost when it's all one big clump. Also, watch your prefixes of they're, their, and there. ...
Nov 18, 2010 -
Re: Blood Stains (From my novel)
THIS IS AN AMAZING STORY! Sorry to go all 'caps' on you, but seriously ! That was one of the most emotionally sturring pieces I've ever read on this site! ...
Nov 18, 2010 -
Re: the way of the jungle (chapter four)
This is such an amazing story! You really have word choice, detail, and sentance fluency DOWN PAT! :D No suggestions! ~Tay~
Nov 18, 2010 -
Re: Befriending an Inferno
Wow! You have a smooth way of reminded me of waves, almost! My suggestion would be to break up your writing into a couple stories.. most people don't like to ...
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: Hiya! <3
Hi! Welcome to YWS! The people on this site are extra-special. We'll help you! We love you! You're awesome! :) I'm Taylor, and TOTALLY feel free to PM (Personal Message) ...
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: Alpha and Omega: Preface
This is an exquisite piece of writing! Keep writing..definately! You have talent! Nothing to fix.. except the word 'vowwed'. It only has one w. *Tay*
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: Safe-Chapter 1
Post part 2 already! :) Seriously...tell me when you do! I love this story! Nothing to really change...except for a few convention errors. Here's a tip- take some time to ...
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: Our neck of the woods, Part one
curtainsaround by shoulders, it's fate still undecided. Curtains around....... that last bit makes no sense- I would reword it :) seeing my short haired sister.... blond headed... short-haired, blond-
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: Fly Away (Preface)
This is an exquisite story! I was taken immediately by your writing style- in this story, you don't give away too much detail but you draw the reader's attention to ...
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: I Love Her
Hey! That is one fantastic story! Constructive criticism: I realize that this is a short story, but if you could add a little bit more detail about her home situation ...
Nov 17, 2010 -
Re: Aesta: Chapter 3 - Caravan to Mao Part 1
Vaughn let out a yawn and laid back, placing his hands behind his head. "You think you can make the food this time?" He asked Mayuko. It should be, "...you ...
Mar 7, 2010 -
Re: Scavengers (Scene Six of Ten)
ADRIAN: So you were planning to make more weaponry for the scavengers. This should be a ? not a . Other than that, no things needed to fix. Wow Vast! ...
Feb 27, 2010 -
Re: The Chronicles Of A Teenage Vampire
WOAH. Uum. I'm a little overwhelmed. First of all, try posting it chapter or two at a time to make for MUCH easier reviewing and feedback. PM me when/if you ...
Feb 25, 2010 -
Re: Scavengers (Scene Four of Ten)
No comments here, Vast-izzle, other than it was AWESOME!! *Taylor*
Feb 25, 2010