Elocina

You getting all that? Between AOA and me, you're getting quite the earful on stuff to change. At least we aren't tearing it to shreds... I'm going to go off ...

Kewl. I'm gonna have to check :shock: that site out. Thanks 4 answering.

:lol: Even if I did get on your nerves, you don't know where I live! :twisted: .... :? .... ......... right?

OK, time for a bit of my inexperienced critiquing. Chapter 3: The first two paragraphs can stand for a brush-up. Captain Corda wasn’t happy. Which wasn’t a good thing, because ...

Sheesh. Nice guys. Remind me never, ever, ever to get on your bad side. My curiousity is like an itch. If you scratch it, it only itches more. Ravin is ...

I don't care what the others say. I like Ama'Ali. She's got a quirky, outgoing attitude that sets her apart from every other character I've ever read about. No matter ...

I think its smart to get everything done first, then go back and edit things. (Not intending to get off-topic, Go Avalon! We practically do speak America. When my relatives ...

Don't worry. I was only teasing you. :wink: I know how long it takes to write stuff. I just made up a test for World History class. Lets see...about 10 ...

It's interesting, though a bit of background could do a world of wonders. I'll assume that is covered previously. Just so you know what I mean by 'background', I mean ...

Now I have 2 questions for you: 1) Do you have a name/nickname for the book? and 2) Where's Chapter 3? :lol: *muttering annoyedly* ...bugging me not to know what ...

Yes, we are. Know how many strange looks I get from my fiends.. oops, I mean ''friends''. :twisted: I hate tests, too. Especially from my World History teacher. One never ...

:? Anyone care to explain what YFW stands for? On another note, what do you write, Arvy? :twisted: *ahem* pardon the evil face. I write fantasy.

Hi Michelle; or would you rather be called 'supermal'? :D 'C' is my middle initial, and Elocin is my name spelled backwards. Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, Anikin, Gandalf...can't decide on ...

Actually, this my alternate begining. My orginal has little activity and a person who likes long, lengthy, frivolous speeches. Here goes: “The sentence for murder is death!” In the shadows ...

Sweet 8) . Other than the Spelling mistakes Firestarter pointed out, I see nothing wrong. That was one neat twist at the end.