Eliza:)

After his birth his parents wrapped him in a blanket and left him in the middle of the woods. There should be a comma after birth . He was out ...

thought Ryan to herself as they slammed her head pack into the pavement. Pack should be back . After helping her up Ryan was able to get a closer look ...

With only a population of three million spread out throughout seven cities it was uncommon to have so much military activity, but the little green-purple planet was special. There should ...

The year, 2113, the earth finally built its first station beyond the moon. This sentence is awkward to read. If you put an in in front of the first the ...

20000 Names and Behind the Name are great sites if you are looking for names. 20000 Names has names ordered by ethnicity and Behind the Name allows you to find ...

Hello Grass! You are going to love it here! YWS is a pretty big site, and until you get used to it, YWS can be overwhelming. This is why there ...

Thank everyone! Each of your critiques have helped.

No. Why would I be?

She was once living, but died.

I like the kamikaze mood the best. It makes you have to keep writing. It's great.

I didn't find any grammer or spelling mistakes. The underlined words should be in italics. When they are underlined, it is too hard to read the story because you want ...

Chocolate

The seven year old poked his teacher’s still body. Who is seven; Maxim? When you describe him, he seems older. Back home at last. This sentence is awkward. Reword it. ...

Hunting for recreation is just plain cruel. There are already farm animals specifically for food, so there is no point in killing more animals just because you like to kill ...

Right now I'm reading Petey. It's a pretty good book.