Eliza:)

Your story is good, but there are a few problems. At the beginning of a sentence, you should always capitalize the first word. Instead of: a cold, morning breeze entered ...

I stood in front of the mirror, brushing my pixie style hairdo, with bangs that grazed my eyebrows above my sky blue eyes. Each time the comb went through my ...

I was proud of my friend for serving in Germany, without getting killed. The comma isn't needed. It was uncomfortable to be there, most of the men and women there ...

A child ran up the path, her feet dragging through the leaves making a joyful cracking sound. You could easily put a comma after leaves . a boy called after ...

In this game they had 2 teams Spell out numbers. and tried to kick a leather ball filled filled with animal hair past goal posts. You typed filled twice. The ...

A few hundred at least. There is no way I could count them all.

The reason for the fancy socks and her picking me up is a funeral. This sentence doesn't make sense. Try using another word besides and . Around me, jumpstart conversations ...

By the time you realise that you were right, it’ll be too late. Realise should be [/i]realized.[/i] There were dozens of other’s that would do the job Other's should be ...

I personally think that if health care was changed to what Obama wants, no one would be able to get anything they need for months. At least with the current ...

I would rather read about the realistic man. If your characters are perfect, there is no character development during the story. With the realistic man, you could easily add a ...

Everyone knows the saying "It feels so right when it's wrong." There should be a comma after saying . She chose Greece for our next vacation after watching Sisterhood of ...

I often think of characters before the plot. Thinking of characters is just easier then thinking of a good plot that you like that other people would like too. Personally, ...

"Favorite fantasy animal? *looks shocked* Only little girls and girlish boys have favorite fantasy animals. How could you ever think of such a thing as a favorite..." ~James "A dragon ...

The sky caught fire as the sun sank into the trees. That’s all there ever is around here, trees. They are all so tall and quiet, Kirthin thought. From the ...

Etched with all the despair and sadness this world could offer, I was sure of it. This sentence needs to be two sentences. I looked like myself now, I was ...