EliteHusky

Those tiny pellets that the world shoots at you; they just graze enough to hurt, to annoy, and to make you wallow in self pity. Good description. For the rest, ...

When liquid drops The sweeper mops In dark corridors He works on more Retrieving lost items A phone, jacket, and shoe Who could have guessed He could have been like ...

*Just started reading Chapter 17 without covering the first 16 Good news: After finishing the chapter, aside from a few names and minor details, I could grasp the content. Bad ...

Take this from a person who just returned from South America after taking over 1800 pictures. It is not so much the camera that matters as the storage, and timing. ...

Frederick Lovelace, the founder and retired principal of this fine, fine establishment, had once declared that the beach was the perfect metaphor for education, that it represented “the crossing of ...

Almost unconsciously, he swept back his hair, a tangled mess of curly blond that was probably too long by normal standards and certainly too long by the standards of Saint ...

As Dandilion tries to stop the killing of a the Wolf supposedly plagueing the town, Best to pick either "a Wolf" or "the Wolf" as you used both. Ajerbae When ...

Firstly I will inform you that this poem was devilishly good. It was witty and if that word is too overused let me replace it with sarcastically hilarious. Suffocating is ...

Good start. You begin by using "why" and the term itself somewhat makes the reader expect an answer or at least some rational. It starts off by asking very broad ...

This surely has every reader singing along to the lyrics albeit, they can get over G rated at times. I especially liked the line, Oh, I'm so dumb and naive ...

Good use of repetition. I did not find it too overwhelming because it seemed to have a purpose for dramatic effect. My only issue would be the first verse, Fall, ...

Have you seen the detective? I heard he was here to stay A master of psychology and puzzles He always seemed so gay Have you seen the detective? This case ...

Firstly regarding, Trees, a couple bush, more trees, a couple of cars, some people walking, even more trees...They I may need to double check on this, and I would invite ...

Personal experiences, dreams, can all be a source of inspiration. Channelling your personal experiences in writing is a good skill. With that said, I agree with the previous comments in ...

Excellent. Strong ending. Strong language. Strong emotion. Dancing upon the thunder of immortality. Good use of imagery throughout. Keep on writing. Look forward to more poems. Sincerely, Elitehusky