Elelel

In that 4th paragraph, where everyone's talking and moving n stuff, I got a bit lost at a glance as to who's saying what. :( Can you break that up ...

Oh thanks El, But like I've said its a PART of my book, but Im planning to prepare the entire chapter and sent it here. I thought you would have ...

... I was thinking along those lines too, but I tried to phrase it a bit nicer (if there is such a word).

I love this! Particually the repeated The lights in the city always go out first in a room at the end of a hallway bit. The dashes are a good ...

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ech bubble, Beautiful! Days and nights and eons ago ^Absolute favourite line!

Nice! :D The flow is consistent and I love the Emporer's New Groove!!! Heheheh! (sorry, had to say it) :lol:

*collapses laughing*

I like this! It began a little awkwadly, but it really began to flow about half way through, and the ending made smile! :D

Interesting! And amusing! It's really good, there are a few places that could use work, but overall it's good. It was well aranged with her thoughts, and his conversation... though ...

Anytime, Mesh. I started out with violin in the fourth grade.. no, wait! Did I really take piano lessons before then? Sheesh.. Ok, I started out with piano lol, probably ...

I'm a little unpredictable... sometimes I rant (usually at people in my family who have to forgive me) but sometimes I bottle up. Bottling up usually ends in a rant ...

Who would rate you low anyway?

I havn't given anyone a prestige rating, I'm too scared to! Because if they've got * point something or other, I don't want to give them an 8 and bring ...

OK, I'll give it a try! (soory to make you do that Perra!)

Hello! *Waves* Call me El, Eloere is to hard with all the accents!