Eimear

I agree with Mad I'm afraid about the line breaks. It was far too much scrolling for me as I'm quite an impatient person. But this impatience was borne from ...

This is a bit on the saucy side, yes? XD Anyway- few things, this really seems a bit more like prose than poetry- but maybe that's because you tell a ...

Heya Ringo- man, you seem to churn out these poems like they're going out of fashion :D I love it. So, onto this? Well I really did like it very ...

Indeed, I'll second Mad's cry for punctuation. It's really a necessity in poetry- with out it this unravels as a sigh rather than something that makes my ears perk up ...

Man, I'm not a very competitive person, this doesn't bode well....

Hmmm, good concept and idea. A real dash of spirit for your and our passion here. Nice! Although- it seems more like the beginnings of a piece here. There are ...

A lot of people have already kicked you on what could be developed- e.g. It's a bit like prose, it could be developed structurally, show us more. Instead I'm going ...

Wow, this is definitely very raw indeed. I understand that though because you said yourself that it's a first draft. So my overall impressions are as follows. Firstly this struck ...

Hmm, indeed. I couldn't really get into this. To be honest the not so subtle song references made me first go 'huh?' and then cringe. Try and use your own ...

I do agree with Suzanne completely. The thing is, these lines are really the bare bones of a poem. Now is where the fun part begins. Flesh them out. You ...

I agree with everything that Mad's said. The poem lacks punch. Hmm, let me try and explain. Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote a poem very similar to this except it was ...

I'm I right in thinking that this was borne from an in depth conversation you had? *winks. I agree with all of elephantwalrus' points, this poem is very thought provoking. ...

**This is based on a true event- but please, do rip it to shreds! It needs a lot of work. The sharp end branches shook amber leaves away that year; ...

I think this earns a.... Bravo! Seriously, very well done indeed. It captivated me, at any rate. Perhaps because I am a champion of loving a good, strong rhyme scheme. ...

Oh my lord. That's a lot of song titles in a poem. I'm sorry but they distracted me completely from the message, and I had to go back and re-read ...