Eimear

This is the first rap I've read on this, and the first one I've seen from you. It kicked serious.. well, It was really good. Right bang in your face ...

So this is cool. In some serious need of punctuation- but I liked it nonetheless. The other responses coupled with mine show how much we cared about the speaker, because ...

I agree with both reviewers; great ideas, imagery, the whole shebang is there- but now you need to order it into something a little more readable. Put in a rhythm ...

Haha, this was fantastic! I feel like jumping aboard the Bingo bandwagon already! I'm really glad you decided to put this up, I really enjoyed reading it. Chocholic's right, there's ...

Did I review this before the second draft? It seems pretty familiar. It also seems pretty awesome. The rhyme scheme- well you can't really be faulted with it in my ...

This is completely fantabulous! A poem, perhaps? xxxxx

You seemed to have sacrificed certain aspects that are crucial for a poem's success in turn for trying to make this vivid and sound real. Did you experience this? I'm ...

This reads more like a list of words with the occasional '....' than poetry. The emotion is there, but the structure really lets you down. That and your lack of ...

I think this is fantastic, really, truly great. So you have the music for this? It definitely has rhythm, something which you've been pulling me up on in my lyrics ...

I agree with all of Jasmine's points here. I've seen your work before and although I always like it- you seem to take risks and don't stick to well worn ...

As the youngest of ten children I'm quite resigned to letting myself be piped to the post, but this is fun all the same. Nothing like some competitiveness to stretch ...

Thank you all so much for such quick and in-depth replies. Each one is greatly appreciated, and will help me so so much in editing this. Hugs* Eimear xx

What are these groups? We don't have them over here in our Universities.

I like to look at this as a good poet's okay poem. You see, there's no denying reading this that you have talent. It's absolutely so driven into you I ...

My happiest poems are characterised by an incessant need for rhyming. Most of the time I write about a struggle towards a goal- a need to keep on trying to ...