Ego

'Thanks for reading. I was in a rush to write this today.' even in a hurry you shouldn't be writing such junk, you better try to give some tought to ...

What makes writing a villain so different from a hero? I think defining that might be a good first step.

"They want me, Adrian," Dreffan whispered to the paladin, who had drawn his sword and stood to face the intruders. "They believe you are in league with me, so they ...

I'm more than willing to take over the character for Shadowsun, if he wants to abandon Sighard. I think his demise at this point would be counter productive--he's already been ...

Bland. At least, in my opinion. There was a ton of telling, and a decent amount of showing, but the rest of the senses are left in the dust. The ...

Evidence that age is not everything, in the world of writing. Excellent style. Competent, stylish, and simple enough to follow without any trouble. Nothing more can be said, really, without ...

I love the concept. Very interesting. Your execution, however, could be better--the action seems unclear, almost as if looking into muddy water. None of the characters really get an introduction, ...

I think I'll take a different approach than mentioned by the others. Your style here is overly simplified. Now, sometimes this works, like tying up a point made previously. However, ...

As with my critique of part II, I think Vader is slightly out of character. A little too aggressive, too unforgiving. If every time the empire failed in a task, ...

Vader seemed out of character. He doesn't have an ego, so he probably wouldn't say "the greatest lightsabre duelist of all time." Furthermore, while he doesn't have an ego, he ...

Lance growled behind his faceplate--they had gone against orders. He always knew the other races were too independent and headstrong to be part of this army. It was unfortunate that ...

Lance keyed his powersuit's optical enhancers to zero in on the approaching vehicles. Three red reticles encircled them as they were confirmed hostile. The level of detail in the enhancers ...

Gamer for life. Halo series, Rainbow Six series, Mario, Sonic, Final Fantasy...you name it I play it and can probably beat you at it. ;)

As we passed by the three bastards that ruined Cameron's Bronco, I shouldered past "Dave" and made eye contact as we collided. Don't fuck with me, asshole. When I reached ...

I thought it was a riot, personally. I only wish it was more structured and more....well, poetic. I agree with Fand, remove some ellipses, though the exclamation marks seem well ...