EAThomas

I’m a few paragraphs in and I haven’t really decided if I like this yet. Your word choice is well… interesting, which may or may not be in a bad ...

A few very quick grammar bits and then I’ll start on content: "Yes, you were singing, Hush Here Comes A Whizz Bang." You should put quotes around “Hush Here Comes ...

I’m not really sure where to start. There were a few odd little errors I’ll cover first, and then on to my actual review. First off I’m not sure if ...

I disagree with the above review. It might could use more verbs, but it’s not a poem, it’s a vignette. The point of a vignette is something that does tell ...

Let’s start out with this: I don’t like vampires. They are a big turn off for me. I’m not just talking about Twilight vampires I’m talking about Dracula level vampires. ...

Wow… holy crap do I want to know what’s going to happen next. Okay, so let’s run over a few quick things: For an actually book chapter this is terrible ...

To start out, it’s 3:20 in the morning, and I’m fairly tired fight now. That being said I was able to read your story, and it kept my attention for ...

Okay… really creepy! I’m not sure if this is what you meant… but the nameless narrator just seems like a stalker. If you don’t want him to seem like a ...

First off, this is not really my type of thing. It’s very, very short. There’s not really enough room to expand it into a real story. It’s more of a ...

First paragraph: “I didn’t know who the man was or what he was doing there.” Change the “or” to “nor”. Remember: either or; neither nor. Okay, done now and wow... ...

I’m not sure exactly what you meant, but I don’t think you mean to say “my face felt in awe.” I thought that maybe you were looking for “fell”, but ...

Quick grammar check on the first line, hear instead of here, really easy mistake. The sudden direct address in the first paragraph too… this is something that drives me crazy ...

First thought: I thought the main character was female until specifically told otherwise. This isn’t necessarily a criticism, as the first time I picked up an Agatha Christie novel I ...

This isn’t so much a short story as a vignette. Nothing really happens, which is fine as an exercise. The quality is pretty good. I was a little confused by ...

Ahh… a story from the land where everybody’s a rapist! That is one of three complaints I have. The other is that you wrote his instead of he’s. The last ...