Dynamo

You may not have noticed but you did something good. You shortened the length of this post. All your other posts were pretty long and, sadly, a little tedious to ...

SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! CRITIC MY WORK, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

8/10 extra points for making it rhyme!

Zel handed Valin a bottle of wine. "What was that all about?" "Nothing you need to worry yourself about." Valin told him as he took the wine. "If you say ...

5/10 I can't see the symbolism.

It looks like you worked hard on the fight scene, though I have to admit I hazed in and out while reading it so I didn't pick up many fine ...

Meanwhile, Zel was at the other end of the cave looking for something. He swept the ground with his hand clearing up dust and grim that had accumulated over the ...

7/10 Go Yoda!

Let me guys, the white haired guy is Jiraiya, one of the three sennin. Very nice, I thought it was funny as hell. I only spotted on or two spelling ...

(So, looks like things are starting to fall apart for Tylor in this chapter. Bet you didn't see this one coming!) Once everyone was healed they all met up in ...

Actually Siegfried told me and I already edited it. If you're dyslexic like me it's easy to get those two names mixed up, and for that I apologize.

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(OOC: That should be fine. By the way, we're not packing to leave, we're unpacking to go into the cave.) "Heh, at least you had parents ta teach ya manners." ...

You know you're having a bad day when... 1) you puke out a lung and it starts raining toads. Now that'd be a really bad day for everyone!

Well, it's about time you brought the story back over to Naruto. I think the dragons are OK storywise, but in battle I think it would be a little overpowered ...